The Way I Feel Will Remain The Same
by Ricky'sLittleHorror
Summary: Spencer looks back on his life with Ryan.


Spencer looked down at the grave and felt the lump rise in his throat. He slowly sunk to his knees and lay the flowers down.  
"We all miss you, Ry. Bren would have come but he's not doing too well and Jon is… I don't know where Jon is."  
He closed his eyes and thought back to that fateful day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"For Christ's Sake, Brendon! It's my band, why can't I sing?"  
"Because you're better on guitar then singing."  
"This band was created because of my singing!"  
Spencer sighed and stood up.  
"SHUT UP! We do this every day. Just quit it. On the next album Ryan can sing half and Brendon can sing half. Alright?"  
"Who gave you the right to-"  
"BECAUSE THE BAND WAS MY IDEA. MY CREATION. NOW STOP."  
Brendon glared and stormed off the bus. Ryan smiled softly at Spencer and stood up, slipping his arms around the drummer's neck.  
"Thank you baby."  
"Hmm, no problem. Now what do I get in return?"  
Their lips joint slightly and Ryan giggled.  
"Why don't we head to the bunks?"  
Spencer chuckled and picked his small lover up, carrying him through to the bunks.

-

Spencer pulled the sheets over their bodies and smiled.  
"That was great baby."  
"It's all what you do to me."  
Ryan giggled and curled up. Jon pulled the bunk curtain open.  
"Guys Brendon is pissed as hell and I can't find him."  
Both men got dressed and headed out to look.

-

Spencer called Ryan.  
"Have you found anything?"  
"No. I'm going to head back to the bus in case he comes back."  
"Good idea. Give it another hour and call the police if he's not back."  
"Alright. I love you, Spencer."  
"I love you too, Ryan."  
Spencer hung up and continued checking around bars.

-

Jon found Brendon in a seedy club by the airport. He called Spencer and they took Brendon back to the bus in a taxi. As they pulled up outside the bus park, Spencer knew something was wrong. There were fire trucks, ambulance and police. He jumped out and ran to Pete.  
"What the hell happened? Where's Ryan?"  
Pete's face dropped even more.  
"Ryan was on your bus?"  
"Yes! Where is he? What's going on?"  
"A group of rebellers broke in. Set a load of buses on fire. I think your bus went up..."  
As he spoke, an ambulance crew rushed past with an unconscious Ryan on their stretched. Spencer ran alongside him, protesting as the police held him back.  
"No! Please! That's my boyfriend!"  
They let him go and he ran towards the ambulance, getting inside.

-

Jon rubbed Spencer's back as he sobbed into the bassist's shoulder.  
"Ry's gonna be fine, Spen. He's strong."  
"B-But-"  
"He'll make it."  
Spencer nodded and whimpered softly. Brendon had sobered up and Pete had filled him in on what had happened. They hadn't seen him since. Patrick was squeezing Spencer's hand, trying to keep him calm.  
"George Ross?"  
It took Spencer a minute to realize that they were calling for Ryan. He jumped up and followed the doctor.

-

Spencer shook his head.  
"You're lying. He's alive. My RyBear is alive."  
"Sir we did everything we could. He had inhaled a toxic amount of smoke. He wouldn't have even known what was happening."  
"Let me see him."  
"Sir, you are not family."  
"HE IS- was my boyfriend."  
Tears fell down the drummer's face as he corrected himself. The doctor nodded and showed him to Ryan's room.  
"Take as long as you need."

-

Spencer took Ryan's hand. The skin was still warm.  
"Y-You promised not to leave me."  
He fell to his knees, sobbing into Ryan's side. His sobs turned into agonised screams. Nurses grabbed at him but he shook them off. He gripped onto Ryan.  
"You swore to never let me go."  
His voice was shaking, his eyes were pouring. He could barely breathe. Ryan's face faded to black as Spencer collapsed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer stared at the ring in the box.  
"I w-was going to propose to you, on your birthday."  
He closed the box and shoved it back into his pocket.  
"I haven't moved on. I could never move on. I love you George Ryan Ross the Third. That will never change."  
Spencer turned to leave and smiled softly. Brendon and Jon were standing there. He opened his arms and both men hugged him. They turned to the grave.  
"Whether near or far, I am always yours."  
"In these coming years, many things will change."  
Spencer cleared his throat and knelt down, laying the box against the grave.  
"But the way I feel will remain the same."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan watched his former band members from many miles away. As he listened to Spencer admit to thinking about proposing, tears tracked down his face. As he watched the guys piece together a new song, and upon hearing Spencer's lyric, he smiled. A beam of sunlight shone down and hit the grave. Spencer looked up and smiled softly, sniffing.  
"He can hear us guys."  
They walked away, arm in arm, reunited as a band and Ryan grinned once more, the sunlight shining stronger than ever.


End file.
